Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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