Your tits are I can't wait for
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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