if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize