We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
