non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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