so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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