you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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