Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
