sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
