RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
