this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
