I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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