Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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