porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.