4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet