Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.