Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i already hear my dad disowning me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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