You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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