either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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