Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize