she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize