I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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