i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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