Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
