It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
