My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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