Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize