no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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