dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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