im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize