i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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