man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
