thus making me awesome and them whores
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
