my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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