i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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