did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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