There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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