Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize