I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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