Me too!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She bit a glass in half.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
