they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
