I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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