You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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