I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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