I wish I could punch you in the face.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
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Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs