I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?