The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer