Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
