i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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