for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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