He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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