is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
