you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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