what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
