I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
