I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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