Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
