Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
