but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
