Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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