i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
