im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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