I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
