So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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