is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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