I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
