I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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