I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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